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Let’s talk about race.

Racism

Let’s talk about race.

I’ve wanted to write about this topic for a long time now, because I’m tired of seeing so many people, myself included, being judged and defined by skin colour. It’s just a colour, it has no meaning and it’s unwise to define our lives by it.

I was exposed to the same education and environments alongside peers with all different shades of skin colour, yet we all had different ideas of where we’d all end up in life. Our upbringings differed from home to home, our own decisions and our own motivations encouraged our individual paths in life, and it’s our individual experiences that influence these decisions and motivations. Unfortunately, when we accept messages that define us by the colour of our skin, we lose sight of our individual freedom and rights as we conform to stereotype and ideology. Enough is enough, we’re all worth so much more than the labels that define us.

Why are we so foolish to associate ourselves with untrue stereotypes? Why shape our lives based on the representation of our skin colours? It’s an issue that’s irritated me my entire life. Personally, I grew tired of feeling stuck in-between what felt like, a rock and a hard place; never feeling completely embraced as an individual because "he’s so white-washed" or “he’s so brown” were phrases that echoed through my entire existence.

Just like all of us, I am a product of my environment and a slave to the nature I inherited and as a result, I’ve become who I am… and it has very little to do with pigment. It’s just a colour, it has no meaning other than the clues it leads to my ancestry. With that said, we innately have more in common to unite us, compared to the differences we’re taught to separate us.

Who I am and who you are cannot be defined by any single label, prejudice or idea. Yes, there may be traits and traditions I share with others of similar cultural heritage, as do we all, but no, it’s not specific to the colour of my skin. Nor does my cultural heritage completely represent my identity, I’m much more than that too.

So, to the officer that profiled me, the employer that overlooked me, the group that rejected me and the politicians frightened of me. Generally to the people that choose to judge me because of my skin colour or any other prejudice for that matter, I will not continue to perpetuate hate by getting angry, nor will I hide away in shame or embarrassment. Instead, I’ll use the avenues I’ve embraced that showcase my identity in order to educate and inform. Although I may have to work a little harder in prejudice environments, I will not allow them to restrict my potential. It’s just the colour of my skin, just like the colour of my hair or the colour of my eyes, it doesn’t mean anything.

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Vancouver Life Coach

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Reform: A Rude Awakening

Che Guevara A Rude Awakening...

  1. When you realize you've been living your life controlled by perceived perception.
  2. When you realize how much work it takes to feel significant and how simple it can be.
  3. When you acquire knowledge and you realize that you will always need to learn more to fully understand.
  4. When you realize you have no control over death, not at least without burden.
  5. When love is experienced.
  6. When love is not experienced.
  7. When you discover an answer that leads to even more questions.
  8. When you wake up to the moment you had accepted defeat.
  9. When you realize that you can rise from defeat.
  10. When you understand what equality really means and how the world actually operates.
  11. When you have faith in people even though they have no faith in themselves.
  12. When you define the line between distraction and avoidance.
  13. When you experience genuine detachment.
  14. When you realize that money, marriage and religion are all man-made.
  15. When you discover the similarities between worship and slavery.
  16. When you realize your own potential is limitless.
  17. When you realize that your truest purpose impacts the world positively.
  18. When you see yourself for who you really are.
  19. When you see others for who they truly are…and it’s often wonderful when you understand them.
  20. When you realize that this list is merely subjective.

Question everything until you uncover the facts. Uncover the truth in order to wake up.

 

VanCity

Betrayed by Success

I’m fortunate and grateful to have met success throughout different parts of my life. From my achievements through to overcoming struggles, I can definitely say that I’ve ranked some wins over the last few years.

However, I was reflecting on moments in my life when success felt more like a deception. A time when I was chasing a dream that never reflected who I was nor what I wanted for my life.

Prior to embarking on my own journey and following my own aspirations, I was on a track that society had laid out for me. I did exactly what we’re “supposed to do” and I got the education, I got the job that came with prospects and with all that in place, I was en-route to accumulating everything I anticipated to acquire.

I was living what I thought was an Ideal life; gradually becoming the envy among my peers and looking more and more like the successful people I saw in magazines and on billboards.  Sad thing was, people we’re only noticing my possessions and the way I looked, which crippled my identity and my ability to be myself.

I felt betrayed because I did everything I believed I had to do to be successful.

Turns out I was yearning for a success that wasn’t mine. I was trying to live up to an image of success that wasn’t defined by the life I actually wanted to live.

There’s a major fault with the way society defines success; we’re bombarded with pictures and images, information and content that defines what success should look like. From the way we should look and behave, to what we should have accomplished by a certain age. I was seduced by the generalized messages, targeted towards millions of individuals, to live generalized lives.

The pressure to look successful overpowers the journey you really want to take, and you end up on a trivial pursuit of happiness. To experience and achieve true success, it should be defined by your own aspirations, shaped by a dream you’ve always envisioned.

A lot of us end up blurring our aspirations because we’re too focused on living by the ideologies we’re presented with, when in fact it should be the other way around.

I have clients and friends today that choose to cling onto the same life that I was living and still waiting for that feeling of fulfillment to arrive. I won’t lie, giving a lot of that up to proceed with life by my design was difficult. Although I did feel rebellious and I did feel like I was moving in the wrong direction, the payoff soon came when I unlocked the potential that was held back by desiring a life I didn’t connect with.

I no longer feel betrayed and I emit the energy of my aspirations and my identity. Every day I get closer to living the life of my dreams is a successful day. I have all the perks of success: I feel confident, I feel happy and I feel fulfilled by my achievements.

Determine your own success today and embark on that journey towards your dream.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Deterring from “Default Success” to Join the “Happy Elite”

Happy Elite

Growing from strength to strength has a lot to do with the ability to see past what you believe is your limit.

I was sitting in seat 24E on a flight from Spain to England, we had finally ascended above the clouds and the plane had settled as it continued to cruise through to its destination. I thought to myself “how many people set their limits to a certain point, that they go through life not experiencing the calm and stillness that comes with being self-actualized.

I find that many people never get a chance to experience their own potential because they set their limits based on the actions and achievements of other people in similar situations. Furthermore, so many people struggle to think beyond the clouds because they allow their success to be default. Success that is expected by following a standard pattern of living – default success.

The idea of default success halts their imagination and constricts their ability to be the best that they can be.

Rather than working to their own potential, they work towards the potential of other elements such as their education, their environment and perhaps their money and upbringing. I find that the majority of people aim for ‘default success’ because it is safe and it is easy, yet they fail to realize the loss of control: finding it difficult to pursue something they really want because of the fear of failure.

Problem is, safe and easy gets safer and easier and there’s nothing wrong with that,  until there is, when their entire belief system is turned upside down. The moment they've realized that they have missed out on huge opportunities, those moments they reflect on life wishing they had spent more time investing in their passions. Those moments they've realized that they have no idea of who they are. Moments like these affect so many people negatively because life was never truly lived and turning back or starting over feels like an even bigger risk than continuing on an unfulfilled  path.

This happened to millions around the globe during the economic crisis and it won’t take you long to find an example of the many people that chose the securer option, only to lose the very security they believed in.

The annoying thing with people stuck on the belief of default success, is that they repeat the behavior when things hadn't gone to plan, for example: returning to school to obtain a skill, to secure another position they don't really want.

The chase for default success restricts you from joining what I call the ‘happy elite’.

The ‘happy elite’ are people who have the guts to really dream and put that dream into action, even if the investment to begin with is minimal. Those that aren't intimidated by another person’s possessions or monetary wealth. Those only concerned with living life confidently the way that they want to. Investing time in the things that make them happy and surrounded by positive attitudes. Working and determined to make their dreams a reality and free from the fear of failure. Those in the happy elite would only return to school to obtain skills to pursue a passion, with an eagerness to learn and participate.

Life is no longer a rat race, and it definitely isn't about “catching up” to peers nor where I should be on society’s timeline. I’m in full control and I’m piloting this plane straight to the destination I have in mind. The day I decided to really invest my life into what I really wanted from it, also including the process it took to understand and discover what that really was, was the day I became a part of this extraordinary minority.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach