Passion

How to Discover your Passion and Purpose

How to find your purpose

If you want to live passionately with purpose and reason, then you need to access the traits of your very own being. You need to listen to and respond to your emotions, as you navigate your way through different experiences in life.

The journey into fulfilment begins with mindful experiences. You must be and feel fully engaged, in each and every experience you encounter. You must be completely invested and emotionally present through every experience, to determine what speaks to your identity and what doesn’t.

I’ve come across too many irritated individuals living life on auto-pilot, complacent in routine and living numbly. I know this feeling because I used to live this way; a life not worth living, lacking fulfilment and wasted potential.

We’re all beings with untapped potential and within us is the determination and drive to become all that we aspire to be. If you’re noticing that life seems to be passing you by, then you just need to regain control and pay attention to what your emotions are telling you.

Throughout my life, the one lesson I’ve relied upon to stay on track with my aspirations, is to listen and pay attention to emotion. Emotions indicate your truest intent and genuine desires, therefore ignoring how you feel will only lead you into an unfulfilled life and further away from discovering your passion and purpose. A deception that will blur your identity and cause you to drift away from what you truly desire.

Thought vs. Emotion

You can change and manipulate thought, even if a negative thought enters your mind you can counteract it with a positive one almost instantaneously. To demonstrate: if I ask you to think of a Lemon, you can do that without effort. Now if I ask you to think of a Red Lemon, you can also do so instantaneously and change the perception of reality within your own mind.

As thoughts can be manipulated, altered and misdirected so easily, what you think you want, may not necessarily be what you truly want. This is why it’s incredibly important to pay close attention to emotion in order to maintain control over your life. Your emotions are like truth-tellers, they can help you navigate your life towards the bliss you’re in search of, and into the fulfillment you desire. I can’t tell you to be happy because we’re not really capable of altering emotion like we can thought. If you want to change your emotions, then you may have to change your reality.

In Summary

To discover your passion and to find your purpose in life, you must pay attention to emotion. Your thoughts may rationalize a negative experience, however we cannot fully trust thought as our thoughts can easily be manipulated and influenced. However we cannot deceive emotion, therefore as you navigate through life’s experiences, pay attention to what you're feeling. If you find that an experience contains no emotional fulfillment, then move on and keep experiencing until you discover the fulfillment you seek. Until you uncover your passion and define your purpose.

VanCity

What We All Want.

VanCity Today, I led a discussion and met with people living very different lives, about life and relationships. Although there were so many differences, we stripped back experiences until we hit raw, genuine, emotion. Some cried, some got angry, but we all laughed, and as we explored everyone's identities, we discovered what we all truly wanted from our lives, from others and within ourselves.

Since, coaching and connecting with people from all around the world, it's never been more evident that we all strive for the same thing. To just live our lives, as ourselves without compromises.

I'll admit, people's perception about what I do got to me. Even I began to think this whole coaching gig was going to be about helping people set a few of goals and motivate them to achieve it. However, today I was reminded of why I got into this in the first place and I can't even put into words, how it feels to see someone leave a session, with more confidence and excitement about their own lives moving forward.

Over the last few weeks, a mother understood the influence she has on her child, a son understood the pedestal he was placed upon and someone who had lost their identity to their career, learned that they had much more to offer than what was expected in exchange for a paycheck. Someone dealing with loss faced their guilt and finally felt ready to accept what they could not change. Another was awoken to the negative influences impacting his life...

After achieving what I had today and over the last few weeks, I’m more than happy and confident to end this note with:

Kind regards,

Terry Sidhu – Relationship and Life Coach.

The Mindset behind Creating a Healthier Planet: Routes of Change

Routes of Change

“I’d like to see our species come together and use our amazing potential to live in harmony with all life on this planet. If I had to leave an impression, I’d like it to be a smile.”

 – Markus Pukonen, Founder of Routes of Change

On 3rd Ave. and Main St. Vancouver B.C. is where I last saw Markus Pukonen; a man on a mission to “circumnavigate the planet without a motor.”Markus Pukonen

Founder of Routes of Change; a registered non-profit organization, with the intention of raising support for organizations that are creating a healthier planet, Markus began his adventure around the world on foot. Since then, he has already hiked, skipped and danced his way through the first few kilometres and according to his live, online GPS, he currently appears to be canoeing down Lake Ontario towards Prince Edward, ON.

I first got introduced to Markus when I gate-crashed his fundraiser during my recent visit to Tofino, BC. An intimate event, I spoke to several people who knew Markus personally and from what I had learnt, I was eager to understand the mindset of this man with an ambitious goal, derived from noble motives.

Markus loves our planet and “all of the beings on it.” He found himself burdened by the unfortunate state of our planet six years ago, when he lost his beloved father to Leukemia. Around the same time, his sister was pregnant with his niece. This cycle of death and new life caused Markus to wonder what type of future his niece would have, if we continue to pollute and ruin our planet. It also caused him to question the legacy he'd leave behind, if he were to face the same fate as his father. “It was time for change” and it was during this poignant time in Markus’ life, which jolted him to act upon one of his ultimate aspirations.

Over the last six years, Markus has been carefully planning, fundraising and generating awareness and support for his organization. Now that ‘Routes of Change’ has officially launched, he's beginning to feel both the positive and negative impacts of this mission.  The pressure is definitely on and as deadlines loom, the reality of his aspiration is settling in.

To keep himself motivated and focused, Markus doesn’t overlook his emotions. He realizes that they are a key component towards navigating himself towards success. He also practises communicating openly for others to understand him better, especially during moments of high stress and anxiety.

“I’m planning on dancing every day to make things happy and positive and keep the silliness of everything in focus. I practice belly breathing, moving meditation, and yoga as well.”

Also, Markus occasionally finds himself “nervous and stressed.” On top of raising funds to support himself throughout this 5 year mission, he’s set himself a “huge goal” of raising 10 million dollars towards supporting positive change. So naturally, he's finding himself questioning how it’ll all “come together.” Furthermore, Markus has been pretty independent his entire life and for the first time, he’s asked for support from his community in a “big way,” causing further thoughts of concern and uncertainty as he doesn't want to let anyone down.

“I overcome these concerns and doubts by focusing on the positive, on the fact that I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. I know that things have a way of working themselves out if you move confidently in the direction of your dreams.”

Markus has also become mindful of the fact that not everyone understands his mission, nor can everyone empathise with his passion. He’s learnt that staying true to himself and standing by his own identity, will guide him towards the success and fulfillment he desires. He adds:

“I also remind myself that I was willing to do this trip without any money.”

His strength and encouragement also comes from gratitude, he genuinely values community, oneness and family. Even though he'll be without his nearest and dearest for some time, he only has to think about them to trigger motivation.

“I think about the love they have for me. I think about doing my best in order to make them proud. I don’t focus on the fact that they aren’t with me, I focus on the fact that they ARE with me. I feel their love and support and I gain inspiration and strength from it. I focus on that overwhelming feeling of gratitude.”

Markus sets a great example of how to use your identity towards bigger aspirations. He’s combined what he loves to do (his passion), with what he has to do (his purpose) and as a result, he’s well on his way towards reaching levels of self-actualization.

There are many lessons to be learnt from Markus and I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to meet with him. He’s confirmed that staying true to our own identities, engaging in what we’re passionate about and maintaining gratitude for the very things many of us take for granted, will steer us towards a life of bliss and fulfillment.

Have a great time Markus and thank you for raising awareness to make our home a better place to live.

To learn more about Markus Pukonen and ‘Routes of Change’ check-out Routesofchange.org. You can also support Markus along the way, by sponsoring a ‘penny per kilometer’, joining him during a leg of his trip or simply by offering him words of encouragement, advice and support.

Routes of Change

VanCity

The Importance of Maintaining Intention

Tofino

I'd recently took a trip away to Tofino, British Columbia, to complete some work and escape the distractions of everyday life. When I arrived I was ready to churn out pure productivity, I could already feel my ego withering away as my inner-desires activated, engaged by thoughts of freedom, fun and accomplishment.

It was late, dark and very quiet. I immediately felt a slight anxiety as I entered this small town as lone outsider/tourist. I pulled up and greeted my AirBnB host with very quick hello and was given a 2 minute tour of the property…not even 10 minutes had passed by and beers were already being poured. I could already tell that this town had adopted a 'live-in-the-moment' mentality and any thoughts of anxiety were soon forgotten.

My host was an energetic character originally from Alberta, Canada. He’d given up his lucrative career, working on an oil rig, to pursue his passions. He became an artist and had moved to Tofino to seek liberation and to freely create. I had told him about my initial anxiety and how quickly it was dispelled, I mentioned my work and my writing and my reason for visiting. He talked about how many of the people living in Tofino weren't really from there, many of the people he had met and many of the people I had interacted with, seemed to have similar reasons for being there.

My first day though was pretty amazing, normally when I wake up my first thoughts are to check my Blackberry for any new emails from potential clients and to check my blog-stats. The internet connectivity was awful so right way I was forced into mindfulness. I got up early, caught the sun rise, meditated, went for a run and had my first Vegan breakfast (it was delicious) all before 7am.

After I had showered and changed, I took my laptop down to a waterfront restaurant and within minutes I was tranced into a flow state. Usually I would check all sorts of social media platforms and spend the first hour catching up with the rest of the world. This time was very different.

Later that day, I explored the neighbourhood and struck up conversations with random people. It became apparent that many people who come along to Tofino, although initially motivated by escape, were really there to just be themselves. To engage the capabilities of their identities in order to discover bliss. Nobody seemed too focused on status, money, popularity or anything else that bound people to lives that lacked fulfillment.

Nobody really cared about anything else other than making the most of every moment and that didn't really mean partying and having fun in the traditional sense. It meant making the most of one's passions, perfecting skills and becoming the best individual one can be. Investing every spare moment engaging an inner spirit and tapping into a self-confidence that came with true independence. Many people had visited from bigger towns and cities, only to remain there after experiencing some sort of detachment. Towards the end of my trip, even I was contemplating the thought of calling it home.

I couldn't help feeling empathy for those that sought freedom and liberation there. Many people seemed to have detached from their old lives, only to attach themselves to Tofino. I wondered how many will learn to carry this experience with them as they re-enter the lives they’d left behind.

My mum had incidentally given me a book called “why ----- mind matters.” It explored Buddhist philosophies concerning the mind. It was an easy book and within the first ten minutes I came across this quote:

“Man is essentially the manifestation of his thought forces.”

I thought I went to Tofino to work, to finish some writing as I embark on yet another goal. I thought I had to be there to bring back the inspiration and motivation I sought, to complete my book. Truth is, Tofino just allowed me to calm my mind and had given me time to think. It reminded me of the importance of focusing internally.

Prior to this trip, my mind seemed to be in several different places at once, I couldn't focus on writing and output seemed to lack passion. I had all the same ideas, but at home I couldn't bring them alive because I kept trying to focus with an external intention.

In other words, I was focusing on an outcome of a task rather than the purpose of carrying the task out. So when I would attempt to write at home, I was driven more by thoughts of getting my book published and the possibility of new opportunities and travelling more. When writing in Tofino, I reconnected with the internal intention; I wrote because I enjoyed it and because I’m passionate about what I want to share.

Now that I’m back on the ferry heading back home to familiarity, I’m returning with my intentions intact. I feel I understand what it means to put my mind to something now.

We can be anywhere in the world physically, but what truly matters as we embark on ambitious goals, is where we allow our minds to travel.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

10 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself and Into a Positive Mind-Set

Brush it off

Whenever you’re having a bad day or just need to clear your thoughts, try adopting some of the following principles to uplift your spirit, so that you can continue to deal with whatever life decides to throw your way.

#1 Liberation

Be honest and confess your heart out. We all have secrets that weigh us down, things that we continue to push back into the deep, dark corners of our minds. These repressions only add insult to an already difficult time in life, free yourself from the burden of locking up this stress and liberate yourself today. There’s an emotional freedom and strength you develop when you unlock both your heart and your mind.

#2 Withdrawal

There are certain things in life that occur outside the bounds of your control. You can either let this negative impact consume your spirit or, do what I prefer to do: plaster on a smile and say (aloud) “Fu*k it!” It’s my way of remaining in the present, not fearing what the past has to torment me, nor what the future has waiting for me (#fuckcancer).

#3 Bliss

Take a drive, book a weekend away, go out…do something for yourself that allows you to comfortably express yourself. Always take time for moments of bliss, to feel comfortable in your own skin; free to just be yourself. Personally, I book a trip away every quarter just to break away from the insanity that we refer to as the “real” world.

#4 Serenity

Go on a communications hiatus. Turn off the phone, close the laptop and pick up a book or engage in an activity that gives you time to relax and recover. Take time out to listen to your thoughts and be at peace with time. You can become so reliant on staying connected, that you can end up losing touch with yourself.

#5 Gratitude

Remind yourself of everything in your life that you're thankful for and show appreciation towards it/them. Whether you're grateful for the roof over your head or the people in your life, spend time protecting and showing appreciation to your most cherished assets. Oh, and don’t forget about your health; look after your mind and body.

#6 Community

Nothing eases the pressures of life than supporting others that could benefit from your help. Humbling, freeing and incredibly rewarding, helping others can really snap you out of negative thought processes. It can remind you that you’re worth something to someone, even if you believe the world and everyone in it is against you.

#7 Amnesty

Forgive. Forget. Move on. Let go of grudges; let go of the energy it takes to hate someone. Holding onto hate will only prevent you from moving forward. Understand that time gives you the opportunity to heal, but you must let go if you want to facilitate this process. Trust me, I held on to hate as if it were the life that ran through my veins, and it led my identity astray.

Also, fess up and seek redemption if you need to. We're all human, we're all learning, we're all connected and we feel the same emotions. Make your mistakes but own up to them, if you let them fester and do nothing, they’ll develop into regrets you'll later live with.

#8 Confidence

Say yes more! Just do it, if you’re hesitant then that’s your indication that there's a part of you that wants to experience and explore your curiosity – this is life! However, if you’re completely certain and very confident that you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it, listen to your intuition and your gut instincts.

#9 Passion

Indulge in your hobbies and unleash your inner expert. Do things that make you feel proud of yourself; do things that make you feel accomplished. Explore those things that interest you, especially if others do not understand why. Your hobbies and your passions make you unique and they’ll keep your identity intact. Never lose sight of who you are.

#10 Mindfulness

Often associated to meditation, but I’ve learned that mindfulness is just about being completely present without judgment. I liken it to the freedom you experience behind closed doors. Tap into your creative spirit, express yourself and feel good! Get yourself into a flow state and reclaim your life; sing, dance, paint, write…you have endless ways to be mindful in your very own, individual way.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Why Holding on to a Fantasy isn't Necessarily a Bad Thing

Fantasy

My journey from living with insecurities to living with confidence and esteem has been long. It’s taken leaps and bounds overcoming challenges and threats to my identity but I made it through, partly because I held on to what once seemed like a fantasy.

7 years ago, if anyone had told me that I’d be living the life that I am today, and that I’d be living it happily, I’d liken such wisdom to fantasy. Although I yearned for it, no part of my being believed it. However entertaining the idea of how life could be offered me moments of escape where I could live out my ultimate dreams. The mere thought would stimulate emotion, enough emotion to encourage the spirit to act.

We grow up to be adults with plans and realistic tendencies that repress any thought deemed too fantastical. When living inside the ideologies of society we fail to see sense in exercising this natural ability.

The way I see it, what we have as human beings is meant to be embraced. Our imagination has no bounds, has no limits and has no restrictions. Our minds have the ability to give us whatever we want. Whether it’s that great love we desire to experience someday or the success we wish to encounter, we all have it in us to live it in the form of fantasy.

So what good is this fantasy? It’s not real, what use do we have for it? My answer is hope, and not that hope associated with religion. It’s the hope that inspires courage and determination and gives us the right to our identities free. It gives us the ability to dream and inspires us to locate opportunities to pull that dream into the realm of reality.

Life is fu*king tough, it’s not easy, but we do have something to turn to if we do need some comfort to cope. Our fantasies can be something we fuel our minds with to move forward and push through our struggles.

One thing about fantasy, and it’s sort of warping my mind even thinking about it, is that the imagination; the idea; this omnipresent force that exists within our minds allows us to feel. Feelings we cannot and must not deny.

The empathy we experience as we read a book or watch a movie. The connection we make with others that cannot be explained, and the raw expression of our own identities when there is no fear nor judgment to face. Our fantasies contribute so much to who we are and they give us so much to live for, yet we dismiss them because we’re taught to be realistic.

Today, I want to advise you that it’s OK to let your mind travel, it’s OK to enjoy the bliss and comfort that comes with being free to think and feel without the burden of reality. Hold on to your fantasies, let them fill your spirit with all the goodness that empowers you to become the best that you can be in your reality.

You have to be so much already; you may have so many hats to wear and roles to play in your everyday life. So long as you're not harming anyone, explore your fantasy. Be free, be happy and don’t let the struggles of reality bring you down. This life I’m living now was once deemed a fantasy. Generations once enslaved also had a fantasy; lovers once deemed mentally ill also had a fantasy, and although there may be quite a bit of distance between the two realms, never let go of the possibility that one day that distance will decrease.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Move towards Success: Overcome Holiday Loneliness

Holiday Blues

This time of the year can be a time where pursuing your passions slow down and you wrap yourself up in the comfort of the season. Loneliness tends to creep in as you’re surrounded by reminders of a life not yet attained.

The money you may not have yet, the partner you’re still searching for or perhaps the home that you’re still longing for…The missions you have yet to complete can cause you to feel separated from the rest of society.

Your mind finally gets to break from the pace of everyday life and it is in this season you become more self-aware. In this awareness, you can become overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness and disconnect. Shifting awareness over to what you have yet to accomplish.

Having discovered my passions; an avenue towards fulfillment, feelings of loneliness became far and fewer. I always thought that to overcome loneliness I had to venture onto a path connecting myself to other individuals; longing for companionship and family.

A couple of years ago, before I truly began investing into my own life, I would do just that. I’d get into relationships, typically thinking it would cure the loneliness fatigue. I even tried consistently surrounding myself with loved ones. Family and friends were never too far and yet, I was still buried under the fear of being alone.

I discovered that these feelings had little to do with a connection to other people; I had lost any sort of connection to myself. I was completely lost in my own life, it wasn’t defined and I lacked identity because I had allowed society to define my journey and my successes. I would feel alone during this time of year because the ideologies I was exposed to weren’t representing what I truly wanted. I guess you could say it’s this time of year where you feel more than ever, the force of going against the grain of society.

You often start a new year feeling empowered to make significant changes in your own lives then slowly fade into hypocrisy as the year comes to a close. You allow your thoughts to be influenced by the movement of the masses.

I think this time of year, as the pace of life slows down, it’s more important than ever to focus on your own identity and make the most out of the opportunity this time presents. Loneliness can be overcome if you maintain a pro-active mindset. Focus on your aspirations, remember what you want from life and trigger your motivation to act. Pull yourself back into the comfort of your identity and do not let the weight of the unattained knock you down.

Reconnect with yourself and re-align yourself with your dream. Remember the end of a year does not represent the end of your journey.

PicMonkey Collage.

How Lifelong Success Works

Life is a series of peaks. It’s a fool’s assumption to believe that success moves in a linear direction; believing that once success is met life moves smoother. It’s never that straight forward and I’d never want to suggest otherwise.

When you hit one of life’s peaks, it would be a wise choice to prepare your mind for the next level of progression. It’s like a paradox, as you rise higher you might have to fall a little bit first.

It’s like getting a promotion you’re now qualified for, but feeling as if you’re in over your head. Going from feeling like an expert to feeling like a novice. Embarking on new opportunities in life can feel like you’re learning everything new again.

It’s difficult to escape feelings of loss and uncertainty, especially when stepping away from a place of comfort and esteem.  New challenges in life can stimulate a yearning to retreat into a life of familiarity. Where safety was assured because you had already conquered many other significant challenges.

When you reach certain peaks in life, it’s like an automatic door of opportunity open up, and as you walk through, you can really feel the door closing behind you. You find yourself in a new world with new challenges, and it is here you must reassert yourself.

You may become overwhelmed as you stumble through and adjust to these new challenges, perhaps you’ll decrease in confidence and fear sets in. Doubt will most likely circulate your mind as you’re welcomed into this unfamiliar world, to which you’ve earned your place in.

Remind yourself of your aspirations and the things you desire from life.

Whether or not you have the opportunity to go back the way you came, you will never progress towards fulfillment if you’re constantly yearning to go back. No one climbs a mountain by looking down. Just as you nurtured your last opportunity into a great accomplishment, you can do and must do so again.

Your success anchors off of your will and determination to discover and pursue your life’s purpose. Where you may envision your peak now may not be the only level you reach, because with each new height comes a new found awareness; you’ll be able to see your passion and success progressing into further potential and opportunity.

When you enter into new territories that life has prepared for you, you must continue your pursuit. Don’t hold yourself back because you feel a little anxious; feeling like you may have fallen from your peak. You must rise to the challenge and reach that higher height. Your life, just like the world you live in, is full of new discoveries waiting to be explored.

Success may not be a linear direction but, you can always ensure it continues to climb.

Maintaining Flow: 10 Ways to Become Fully Immersed In a Feeling of Energized Focus

Staying dedicated to your passion can be an everyday challenge. Between fighting off the temptation to procrastinate and giving up all together, it isn't easy to maintain momentum and prolong productive activity, when life is so distracting.

Being in the "zone” is a term used when focus doesn't require a technique and you’re naturally plugged into your own genius. Where you can enjoy work for several hours straight, unaware of time and space. However when life jolts you back into play, trying to return to a zone of fluid productivity is an unbearable frustration.

So here’s ten tips to help you plug back into your brilliance.

  1. Set Your Passion as a Priority

When I mean priority, I mean place it way up there with eating, drinking and sleeping. However, rather than simply telling yourself you need to work towards your aspirations, liken it to how you feel without your basic needs. Such as the impact of hunger and sleep deprivation on your body and your emotions.

Liken your passion as a means to survive, if you’re not working towards fulfillment and self-actualization then you’re on a long, painful road to your demise.

  1. Develop a Fear of  Not Fulfilling Your Potential

I’m all about conquering fears, however there’s one fear everyone should develop and embrace – a fear of not fulfilling your potential. Dying without purpose, wasting your life not having tried and wasting time on things that simply do not matter.

Remind yourself of this fear when you wake up in the morning. Beat procrastination and use this fear as power against those seven deadly sins.

  1. Remind Yourself of Everything That Makes You Miserable…

….then smile and give it the finger!

Your time is way too precious for negative infiltrations, so that list of misery you’re working on reducing, empower the fact that you’re working towards eliminating it. Remind yourself; while others complain, you’re making a conscious decision, and effort, to do something about the misery in your life!

  1. Measure Your Successes and Celebrate Them

First of all shatter your illusions of success if they’re only linked to monetary wealth and shiny, fancy new things.

How much have you learned? How has the quality of your work improved? How much have you personally developed? These are measurable levels of success just as much as the traditional pay-off.

Remember you can only welcome and enjoy your definitive success if you have nurtured the genius behind it. Encourage yourself to progress by measuring how far you have already come, there may still be a long road ahead, but your closer to the destination than you ever were before. 

  1. Find New Sources of Encouragement

Listen. Learn. Support.

Although encouragement from your nearest and dearest is precious, the novelty tends will wear off. Seek to grow your support network by wearing your passions on your sleeve, define your life by your aspirations and encourage others to do the same and notice how you’re attracted to like-minded people, like bees are to honey! 

  1. Stay True To Yourself

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zFHkBQBg-4[/embed]

Not only are you an individual with a dream, you’re an identity full of potential and you're a “bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!” Let others worry about following trends and fulfilling statistics, stay true to who you are and what you want from life.

You are your only asset – protect it.

  1. Help Others

Fulfilled success and helping others are closely related: they make you share your identity with others and it demonstrations what true fulfillment feels like.

Do yourself a favour and help others. Helping others also humbles you, it keeps you from getting carried away with your desires and helps you maintain your own purpose and focus in life.

  1. Reward Yourself and Make Time to Unwind and Relax

After a marathon of work, don’t retire exhausted, reward yourself. Be it a cheeky Netflix binge or spending good times with good people, whatever you choose.

Reiterate the message of fulfillment; life is an abundance of joy so long as you maintain a healthy balance. Rewarding yourself after work is much more fulfilling than indulging for the hell of it.

  1. Schedule; Don’t Idly Live By Routine

I don’t believe in following routines, they bore me. I make schedules.

So long as you meet the deadlines you need to make, mix up your schedule and help your mind remain active, so that life doesn't become dull.

Humans are good at adapting, tap into this trait by mixing up your week. Revive your energy week by week and move tasks and responsibilities around. Change is good, change stimulates the mind and change is experience.

  1. Work With/Near Others Just As Hungry for Fulfillment as Yourself

It’s amazing how people can connect to one another, although your journeys may differ significantly, the thirst for life can measure up the same. It encourages you to work towards your own aspirations if those around you are doing the same.

 

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Cheers to That Little Voice Inside My Head

unknown-913570_1920 Ever had that little voice inside your head whisper the truth about the things you really want, but have the perception of risk and expectation silence it? That voice that wants you to explore opportunities and encourage you to take action, is the voice that may just guide you to the life you really want. Perhaps it doesn't make sense on paper nor to everyone around, but that little voice could very well be your potential talking.

I remember back when life never felt exciting, I would spend more times talking about the things I would change rather than changing them. I often found something to complain about and I'd let a lot of things irritate me.

I would literally have to schedule time to enjoy my life, for instance holidays and moments with friends and family. I remember thinking to myself, "happiness can’t be limited to small increments of time." I felt like I was failing at life.

Initially I thought money was the answer so I worked harder and made more money. That didn’t work; I was still unfulfilled, I just had nicer things around me. I tried getting into a relationship, but I think companionship back then made it worse, because it placed me onto someone else’s idea of fulfillment because I hadn’t figured out my own. Each attempt at finding happiness and fulfillment through expectation and ideology, that little whisper  in my head became more frequent. The more I ignored it the more depressed I got, the more I listened to it the more fear I held on to.

That persistent nag kept insisting that there is something better for me to pursue, that there is something genuine out there for me to connect to. Small everyday frustrations would lead to huge outbursts of anger, quiet moments of contemplation would lead to distraction and procrastination. It became evident that I could no longer ignore that little voice inside my head, the one telling me the truth, because I was no longer feeling nor acting like myself. I was not happy with the life I had built.

When I first quit my "secure job" to move abroad everyone thought I was crazy and at some point even I thought I had lost my mind. I can’t even tell you how much I doubted myself when I had actually made the commitment to change my life. To make a better life for myself and face the truth I was battling was difficult, because overtime I learned to ignore it. When you get good at a indulging a certain behavior, undoing what you've learned is a vulnerable process. I’ve since learned to trust my own instincts and have become more confident as a result, because today I'm more open and honest about what I want.

Whatever risk, whatever doubt I had in my mind, listening to that little voice brought to light the stuff I was really unhappy with. Listening to what I really wanted from life has brought me more success and has made my life easy to live. Life feels full and I actually enjoy waking up in the morning, I’ve even been led to a career I'm passionate about, something I thought I’d never discover.

Every challenge I came across taught me more about myself than I have ever knew before, because I was forced to rely on truth. When I gave everything else up that's all I had left. I built confidence and self-belief from the ground up I feel and I know why it's a journey people must take alone. When you liken it to running a race, it's the runner that has to jump over the hurdle, no one else.

I’m not suggesting that you need to make drastic choices, but allow yourself to be curious and discover possibilities. Don’t let your spirit give up just because you think there is no hope for something better. Try listening to that little whisper more often and you might be surprised by how much of your life your missing out on.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Motivated to Work: Connecting My Environment to My Identity

Since the age of 19 I’ve not really lived at home, between travelling, working and my current pursuits, I'd float from city to city but I’d always manage to find a space I connected with. A space I could escape to and work, that allows my mind to focus, to get in the zone and get closer towards achieving my goals. Now I’m lucky, I have a home of myTravel own; a home that I have designed to remind me of my goals and in ways that represent my life, such as the things I am grateful for and what I aspire to be.

I've made my home to serve as daily reminders of what I need to do to grow my passions…

When travelling, I always had to go in search of places that motivated me to work, and I would find “hot Spots” that inspired me. To do this, I would follow one rule; to find places that connected to aspects of my identity that create an energy of my aspirations. For example, when I lived in London I would go into the city to work, into areas that connected to me, such as areas I imagined myself living in one day.

On my travels in Asia, I would hide out in culturally rich places; near temples or at the foot of awe inspiring monuments. Simply allowing my senses to absorb the life and spirituality around me as my mind focused on what needed to be done. I connected with the humble atmosphere there.

The individuality contained within New York City, the richness that paved London, the smiles that beamed in Sydney, to the freedom I found in Vancouver. There was always something to be found that appealed to aspects of my identity.

… as I sit here now in the comforts of my own home, around the stillness and silence, my environment echoes my life and what I have accomplished, they help guide and motivate me to my next destination. Designed to cater to my identity, as my identity guides my life.

Try it, go in search for places you connect with and if you struggle, simply start by being in a place where you feel comfortable being alone. That loneliness forces you to tap into your identity and as you become more in tune with who you are, you'll be drawn to places that motivate you and you’ll eventually uncover the passions that will guide you to wherever it is you’re supposed to be.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Deterring from “Default Success” to Join the “Happy Elite”

Happy Elite

Growing from strength to strength has a lot to do with the ability to see past what you believe is your limit.

I was sitting in seat 24E on a flight from Spain to England, we had finally ascended above the clouds and the plane had settled as it continued to cruise through to its destination. I thought to myself “how many people set their limits to a certain point, that they go through life not experiencing the calm and stillness that comes with being self-actualized.

I find that many people never get a chance to experience their own potential because they set their limits based on the actions and achievements of other people in similar situations. Furthermore, so many people struggle to think beyond the clouds because they allow their success to be default. Success that is expected by following a standard pattern of living – default success.

The idea of default success halts their imagination and constricts their ability to be the best that they can be.

Rather than working to their own potential, they work towards the potential of other elements such as their education, their environment and perhaps their money and upbringing. I find that the majority of people aim for ‘default success’ because it is safe and it is easy, yet they fail to realize the loss of control: finding it difficult to pursue something they really want because of the fear of failure.

Problem is, safe and easy gets safer and easier and there’s nothing wrong with that,  until there is, when their entire belief system is turned upside down. The moment they've realized that they have missed out on huge opportunities, those moments they reflect on life wishing they had spent more time investing in their passions. Those moments they've realized that they have no idea of who they are. Moments like these affect so many people negatively because life was never truly lived and turning back or starting over feels like an even bigger risk than continuing on an unfulfilled  path.

This happened to millions around the globe during the economic crisis and it won’t take you long to find an example of the many people that chose the securer option, only to lose the very security they believed in.

The annoying thing with people stuck on the belief of default success, is that they repeat the behavior when things hadn't gone to plan, for example: returning to school to obtain a skill, to secure another position they don't really want.

The chase for default success restricts you from joining what I call the ‘happy elite’.

The ‘happy elite’ are people who have the guts to really dream and put that dream into action, even if the investment to begin with is minimal. Those that aren't intimidated by another person’s possessions or monetary wealth. Those only concerned with living life confidently the way that they want to. Investing time in the things that make them happy and surrounded by positive attitudes. Working and determined to make their dreams a reality and free from the fear of failure. Those in the happy elite would only return to school to obtain skills to pursue a passion, with an eagerness to learn and participate.

Life is no longer a rat race, and it definitely isn't about “catching up” to peers nor where I should be on society’s timeline. I’m in full control and I’m piloting this plane straight to the destination I have in mind. The day I decided to really invest my life into what I really wanted from it, also including the process it took to understand and discover what that really was, was the day I became a part of this extraordinary minority.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Be Prepared and Seize the Opportunity

The world around you is full of opportunities, sometimes you're actively pursuing them and sometimes they pursue you. Either way, are you prepared for them? Can you put aside your doubts and aim for your target whether your ready for it or not?

We all have those excuses that curb our motivation to explore and learn.

Am I ready for the challenge? Am I ready to be involved? Am I sure that I can handle the pressure? Are all examples of excuses holding you back. Upon reflection, you'll realize how much time you had wasted second guessing yourself, instead of seizing the opportunity and preparing for the challenges ahead and answering those questions you had raised.

You'll learn nothing from the times you let opportunities pass you by, if anything you'll always be left with that frustrating echo: "if only I had..."

It may not work out your way every time, but I can guarantee that you will learn more about yourself and your abilities each time you apply yourself and try. Knowing more is crucial information you need as you proceed closer to your dream, or if your merely on the path to figuring out your passions. You'll learn what extra skills you may need to acquire, you may even uncover new skills you never thought you had...but you will learn something about yourself when you look back.

Today, walk around with a slingshot in your back pocket (figuratively speaking of course); If you see that opportunity in the near distance or it has you in its sights; then aim for it.

Although at times you might miss the target, with regular practice and consistent activity your aim will only get better and you will eventually get a hit!

photo credit: Ariel Schlesinger

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

How to Succeed with Confidence - Share Your Personal Life with Your Personal Life.

The day life really changed for me was the day I decided to expose my soul to the people around me.

I finally let out those ideas that I had kept quiet, knowing that keeping them to myself only held back my dreams. When I shared my work publicly, I was able to pursue my ideas confidently and I was ready to take on the perceived judgment and ridicule that once held me back.

It was that day everyone understood who I was and what I stood for.

The day I uttered the words "F*** it" and just poured my heart into my passions, was the day my identity was freed and life became exciting again and I let those passions lead the direction of my life.

I finally decided to accomplish the things I really wanted for my life.

Mindset

I've dreamed big since I was a kid and the day I made my life a priority and shared my identity with those around me, was the day I began pulling that dream into the realm of reality.

Something insanely good happens when you decide to let those dreams out. All of a sudden I knew what I wanted, I was able to understand others much clearer, I became much more instinctive and learned to make quicker decisions for myself.

I was able grow and learn again. Just like it used to be when I was a kid, I was becoming naturally drawn to things that piqued my interest, learn something new and actually understand it.

My dating life even progressed from quantity over to quality, I became content being single and I learned to know what I expect from a relationship (Click here and you can read all about it).

Most importantly, It highlighted the people in my life who really supported me. I began getting the encouragement to pursue my passion, it was support I thought hadn't existed.

I became so dedicated to my writing that negative influence's faded away. I've noticed how people give me constructed advice now and think twice about sharing empty opinions, they know that I'm sticking by myself, thus prepared for anything thrown my way.

I promise you, you'll release yourself from living a life you're not fulfilled by, on the day you decide to share your personal life with your personal life, that day you'll become free to confidently pursue the life you crave and succeed at it.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

You've Got The Power! Pay Attention To What You're Telling Yourself.

Reflection  

Everyday you'll be reminded of where you are in life. Sometimes you might miss the cues, but at some point in your day you'll definitely feel the energy of your very existence and that little voice in your head will begin to raise questions.

Your presence will even stare you blank in the face during a phase of procrastination and during moments of depression too.

Moments of sentiment, moments of joy, moments of neglect and stress, there are so many opportunities in your day to really listen to what your aspiration is trying to ask you.

Whether your present moment in life is where you intend to be or not, you should pay attention to it.

The energy you feel and the questions you raise can be your answer to the very things you desire from life: what is it you want more of? What are the things you want to erase? What parts of life are missing on that canvas you envisioned yourself painted on?

How much of this energy do you use to fuel your drive to win and/or keep on winning? Or How much of this energy is ignored and that little voice in your head silenced, in fear of failure?

Use these short awakening moments to give you the push you've been waiting for. It was by paying attention to these moments I rediscovered my ambition. It gave me the spirit to leave a 'safe' life I had no desire for, into a life filled with passion and fulfillment. Dare I say it, I'm actually close to living the dream.

I sit here now working on the very life I want to be living, I sit here now, with the confidence to say what exactly it is I want from life and I sit here richer in more ways than anyone could ever imagine.

My dreams and aspirations may not fit yours and what makes me feel rich won't be the answers you're looking for. Determine your own success today, decide what it is you really want and leave behind anything you feel unnecessary.

Every individual has the power to go  above and beyond their borders of comfort and engage in strength of mind. Your will is already leaving clues for you to pick up, your emotion is already giving you the answers you seek and your reflection is pointing you in the right direction...don't let fear suppress your identity and allow you to lose sight of where you want to be in life.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Don't kid yourself if you 'think' you're happy, a big F U! To societies timeline.

F U Ok, someone had to say it. I write this after an encounter with someone in my past. You see, she said that she "thinks" she's happier now. Great! But from my experience, I've been pretty bang on when I know if I'm happy or not and I have never had to contact a member of my past for declaration.

I'm currently listening to some great music, I'm working towards my goal and I'm getting closer to my dreams more than ever before. I'm very happy :-D Although I may not have reached my destination yet, I know I'm happy because I know that my life isn't being wasted by putting my aspirations on hold. I'm living life exactly how I intended too, the way I have decided, towards that definitive "vision."

Yet when someone uses the term "I think?" when talking about their own happiness, I can't help but believe that they are so far from it. It frustrates me. I've had a taste of what life REALLY has to offer and there truly is no room for "I think?"

I have an opinion; I believe those who "think" they are happy, need to really look into their life decisions; did society or the image of "perfection" lead them to this so-called happiness?  We're bombarded by so many images of the "perfect lifestyle" draped over the framework of a socially "accepted" timeline.

Ideologies suggest we should live a "perfect" life, in line with this "time frame" that realistically is unattainable if one wants to focus on one's own goals.

I've always lived my life how I've wanted to and I have rarely used the words "I think?" I go with what I know. Call me a "renegade," but I can' t understand living my life under the influence of other people. When was it decided that now should be the time to settle down, that now should be the time I should focus on an "alternative" career as a backup option...No thanks, I have too much ambition to limit my potential.

The dreams I stand by set my goals, the goals I set ignite my passion and drive. My failure to follow my societies expectation, removes all the speech marks from my life and allows me to live how I intend to.

Dream big folks and keep working towards them, f*** what anyone else has to say or share if it means putting what you want from life on hold. Life is awesome if you live it your way.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Live Your Dream: Invest Your Time Wisely

make-a-splash.jpg

Make a Splash! Remember when we were kids and we used to aimlessly jump into puddles, I remember I used to go out my way to find these shallow patches of water to make the biggest splash that I could. I’d get so carried away until I had completely drenched my socks misjudging the depth, but I didn’t care. I remember it being so thrilling because I was doing what I wanted to do, regardless of being told otherwise and each time it felt like some sort of accomplishment. Recently this random thought had stuck with me for a while and I noticed how differently many of us live our lives today. How many of us can honestly say we seek that thrill and want to make that impact? Don’t get me wrong I understand that we have responsibilities now and commitments that we never had before, but surely there’s still enough time to jump into a puddle now and then; investing time into shaping the life we want to lead will positively impact on our lives.

Do we invest enough time towards building the life we want to live and the way we want to live it? We continue to follow the same routine daily only to realize how much time we could have spent investing into our true goals. Things had recently settled down for me and I began to feel incredibly uncomfortable; surely working everyday and paying bills on time every month isn't what people have evolved to. I know there is so much more I want from life because there's so much more that life has to offer. I’m at a point now where I've met a lot of goals and now I’m ready to aim higher. I’m ready to jump into even bigger puddles.

I find it absolutely frustrating when I come across people who are willing to invest more time deciding on what type of partner they want before carving out an identity of their own. I find it disheartening when I see parents spend more time in a furniture store deciding on which coffee table to purchase rather than nurturing the minds of their offspring. I also find it bizarre how people can tell me more about other individuals, but can hardly piece two sentences together about themselves. At what point did this change, we start lives off so care-free and so individual to only have our identities consumed by the routines we follow. Somehow we decide to be a little more careful and take fewer risks; we find more time for the most insignificant decisions over investing time in shaping our own lives because we’re either afraid of failure or just learn that we simply can’t.

I turn to the people I admire today and am in awe of what they have achieved because it all started with a risk. Looking into a bold move and diving into a new challenge, they never allow themselves to become complacent and always aim higher. Never feeling they've hit their peak and investing their time wisely by seeking opportunity and focusing on goals by drowning out the pollution around them. My sister is probably one of the strongest willed people I know; a description of hell would probably sound like a vacation compared to the ups and downs she has faced in life, but nothing has stopped her from aiming higher to prove to herself, not to anybody else, that she can create a life that she is truly satisfied with.

Had a random conversation about the universe today and the topic lead to how minute our lives are in comparison to time and space, I thought to myself, f*** that! That notion doesn't work for me, I may be only one out of about 7 billion people on this planet but I’m going to make pretty damn sure that this “one” makes an impact on himself and actually lives. There’s already too many irritated souls filling this planet with doubt and negativity not realizing that the benefits of today came from the ones who made a big splash yesterday.  I’m not saying I want my name to go down in the history books and I don't adopt this mind-set purely for others to know who I am and what I’m about. I simply know what I can achieve for myself. Prove to myself that this life is worth more than a routine. Life shouldn't be wasted walking around puddles taking the safer route, just jump right in and make that splash!

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Live Your Dream - Understand the Energy Connecting Passion and Belief

Image There’s a strong connection between passion and belief and depending on where you start, the energy will transfer and ignite the other, carrying the motivations which aid your goals.

Passion Impacting Belief

Having passion is like having learning tools; it’s the stuff that generates desires, our wants and needs. When we’re passionate about something we want to know more about it, we instinctively progress and naturally understand it and it’s as if our body and soul already knows what it wants and how to get it. Then energy from passion drives itself directly into belief. A belief holds what is true and what is real; executing life with passion will generate and encourage belief.

Sometimes believing can connote the distance between you and your ultimate goal but you can bridge that gap by pursuing passions.  I speak to people every single day that find it extremely tough to talk openly about their aspirations, because of the fear of it not happening. They lack the belief because they can’t, won’t or don’t apply passion to what they currently pursue, so like the image above, their life is seemingly motionless. Pursuing passion gives you something to believe in; passion is the force behind the validity of a belief, it allows you to set goals in motion to attain success. If you notice people living their dreams you’ll notice they invested in their passions and made their passions their life, leading them to success and happiness.

Belief Engaging Passion

A failure to believe or weak beliefs tend to affect the impact on engaging passion. I found having a strong belief led me to something I was passionate about. I hadn’t discovered or even thought writing was an option for me, but what got me here was a strong belief in that I will one day be sharing what I know to guide others. I pursued many different avenues and I discovered my passion for writing. If you can truly believe in your dreams, then you’ll set the goals to shape that belief and it’ll lead you to your passion. It seems a bit radical but a belief is a vital tool to carry along with you on your journey towards success. It allows you to explore opportunities and overcome challenges.

To put this more simply, a belief is like the destination and passion is like the mode of transportation. If you know where you’re going then you need to source out the best way to get there. On the other hand, you may already have a way to get somewhere but you just need to consider where you’re going.

Motivation and Setting Goals

PGB

There’s an eagerness and interest that we hold in each passion and belief, it’s is why we’re motivated by them. Relating back to my previous post on motivation, passions and beliefs are great motivational triggers and when motivated, we’re inspired to set and work on goals.

Lastly, whichever way we begin, passions and beliefs will always require action to be successful. Knowing this is just an insight and like Newton’s Cradle, to see it work, you need to take action for the energy to travel through. One will always continue to impact the other, so execute passion in all that you do and start to believe in what you can achieve. Allow your passion to encourage your belief and encourage your belief to pursue you passion.

 

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach