Understanding the Struggle to Accept Change.

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 The image above represents how I feel right now at this very moment. As if I’m sitting at the edge of the Grand Canyon thinking “how on earth I did ever make it here?” When the above picture was taken, I thought to myself, something big is going to happen, someday, sometime in my life. I finally woke up and realised that I can shape my own life. The world is big and it applies a lot of pressure, but I shouldn’t stop working towards my dreams because of the fear of losing a great moment; to which I jumped over hurdles to achieve. Who knew that I would be constructing posts and support followers and that I’d begin conjuring up words to fill an entire book. I feel inspired and intimidated by the clear glimpse into my future and I begin to fear the changes coming my way.

Recently I spent most of my time doing nothing; this blog is now a year old, my 30th post marked the beginning of my first book and obtaining residency in Canada just opened the doors wide open to new opportunities and realities. Throw the blissful occasion of Christmas with the family into the mix and I begin to fear the changes that lie ahead. I was taken aback by the thought of what I’m actually going to accomplish this year and what it could mean for this very moment of contentment and how upcoming changes will affect it. So as you would expect, laying on my arse, on a Sunday afternoon, deemed to be a great escape from my work– I felt compelled not to write anything due to the fear of where it’s all going to lead.

So why do we fear the changes that bring us closer to the things we want? Why, when we work so hard accomplishing tasks towards our goals, do we feel frightened by the prospect of actually one day achieving them? Change is so rarely welcomed in our lives yet every day many of us crave it. The dilemma we face is that when life’s good, calm and settled we hesitate to move forward, we begin thinking to ourselves “things are good, why mess with it?” We sometimes feel guilt or we fear that we’ll encounter loss, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I can’t doubt that my life is good right now, in fact it’s great! Yet I have to accept that change will occur as I move closer to my dream and I think my being lazy and doing nothing was my way of holding onto a moment of contentment for a little bit longer.

Today I saw the above image for what it truly represented. I knew that I wouldn’t have reached the great moment of being able to experience this natural wonder, if it weren’t for all the previous changes in my life. That experience taught me that I couldn’t just sit at the edge of the Grand Canyon, soaking in that moment for the rest of my life. No matter how great it felt, I still had to get up and move on.

When we hit these great moments in our lives, there’s a lot of internal celebration. We get overcome by success; we feel the journey ahead can be placed on hold, so we nestle into the comfort of one accomplishment. We run the risk of slowing down the pace until it almost comes to a complete halt. We deny change, until each grateful moment is just an unfulfilled recurring pattern. Resentment, sadness, regret, complacency, doubt, stress, boredom and anger are just some of the words that many people soon use to describe their lives when change and opportunity is denied.

Life is full of exciting and remarkable moments and yes we should take our time to enjoy them, but we shouldn't fear losing them as an excuse not work on building our dreams. Each new venture we embark on feels like leaving home for the first time, we’re leaning away from all that’s familiar and comfortable, therefore making it easier to deny change. However, when we arrive at moments in our lives, where we feel most content, it should be an indicator that life is not just one long journey we take to get to this one moment, but it’s rather made up by loads of individual trips so we can experience great times over and over again, in more ways than one.

Terry Sidhu

VanCity Life Coach, Vancouver, BC, Canada