From being bullied as a child to being discouraged for having the guts to dream today, I always thought shutting out negativity was the only way to deal with a person whose sole purpose was to bring me down, known as 'the hater'. We all know that keeping persistently positive and moving closer to our dreams will often attract people who want to try to break our spirit rather than elevate it. I’m going to give you insight which might help you deal with these people better – it just takes a little understanding.
I found there are three types of negative people:
1. The hater that got left behind – the most common type of hater, these are the people who feel you've surpassed them in life. People who aren't doing what you’re doing because insecurities and fears hold them back. They fail to understand your goals, dreams and ambitions but for some reason have formed an opinion on you and your mission. Often closed-minded in nature, these types of people are coming from a lack of understanding. To deal with them is to hope that one day they can overcome their fears and embark on their own journey.
2. The competitive hater – these people are the ones often difficult to distinguish, because they do have their own goals and dreams and they are working towards them. So why are they so negative towards you? To put it simply, your competition. Often jealousy driven, they believe dishing out negativity to those on par with their lives will bring them success. Remember what I said about brands? (click here if you need a reminder) Your brand image is conflicting with theirs, rather than brand themselves up; they try to bring you down. The unfortunate thing here is that there is an opportunity to learn from each other and find new ways to grow, here is a person that has all the qualities to be successful but they hold themselves back because they allow other people to determine what success means to them and allow other people to determine their confidence. My only opinion is to just be true to yourself, if you have a firm belief, believe in it, if you have passion, go with it and if you have a dream, stick to it. Appreciate this person for their potential, remember - if you want people to believe in you, you need to believe in others, show them how you’re happy on your way, hoping that it will encourage them to focus on their own path.
3. The hater on top – this type of hater, oddly enough, is the one we want to hear from but are affected by the most. They are the people 'living the dream', who are successful but dishing out negativity towards you because you're on you way to greet them. Ironically, their hate stems from your journey, they fear your on that path to achieving success and they do not want you there. They've become complacent but you’re challenging them. Don’t mind them, if you're hearing from them, then it simply suggests you’re heading in the right direction. You’re an upcoming threat in their eyes, they’re trying to knock you out of the game. As they focus on you, you focus on yourself
Remember to always return a positive favor when faced with a hater, insecurities and fears breed negative people, which is why I say stay persistently positive, your energy will eventually rub off on others and you’ll notice you’ll attract less and less negativity. The moment you give in is the moment you begin losing your way.
I noticed that the more these people tried to bring me down, they made me just want to aim higher. I hadn't realized how motivating these people can actually be. Now let’s not get carried away, I’m not saying I need these people in my life but understanding them opens my eyes to motivations I can draw from them. On a side note, always remember there is a thin line between concern and negativity as well as critique and judgment so don’t start categorizing everyone as a hater who doesn't agree with you. Positivity wouldn't exist if negativity wasn't around, we'll always have to deal with it, so I say embrace them once you understand them.